


Star, Fire and Clouds

by Kara_Eclipse



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-15 23:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15424278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kara_Eclipse/pseuds/Kara_Eclipse
Summary: The grandchildren of Finwe may have been pivotal in the history of the world but their fathers even more so. Just how pivotal though only hind sight reveals.





	1. Before a Fatal Ride

Everything seemed to fall apart all at once. It had been slowly fracturing apart piece by piece with such fine and nearly invisible cracks caused by their own distrust and the hatred that both he and his nephew had so hoped to avoid spurring higher. Now though it was over with. The fragile hope that they could hold back the tide was shattered as the lands where his second eldest nephew dwelt burned.

Standing there he stared blankly out across the sullen grey skies and almost thought he could see the smoke still rising from the once lush and vividly green plains. Closing his eyes Nolofinwe turned and stumbled back inside his room shaking slightly as he finally dropped to his knees. Was this how Feanaro and Arafinwe felt so long ago?

The sickening chill of knowing that there was no way he could truly manage what needed to be done coupled with the dread that knowing their line of defense had not just broken but shattered and so many lives had been lost because they’d gotten arrogant of their powers. Feanaro had been right when he’d implied that Nolofinwe was incapable of ruling rightly and it was suddenly all too clear to him just how incapable he was.

“Atar… please forgive me…” Nolofinwe whispered hoarsely to the empty room. “I failed to protect them….”

Opening his eyes at last he looked up and saw his armor on it’s rack just across the room. An idea slowly formed in his mind, it was one he’d typically consider foolish and suicidal yet not now. Now it seemed the best course of action, to ride out and challenge the enemy directly. He wasn’t his father nor was he his half-brother yet perhaps he could manage some act of valor like theirs.

As he stood, crossed the room and began putting his armor on Nolofinwe went through all the reasons to go through with his plan. That in doing so there was a chance that he might win, a slim chance but one none the less. That he might inspire others to stand against Morgoth, for he was Melkor no longer in Nolofinwe’s mind. He still had his vow to follow Feanaro as a brother to fulfill, this was assuredly not what he’d had in mind but it would do in the end. Lastly that perhaps he could redeem himself in the eyes of his kin, not his children but his siblings and parents perhaps they’d be proud to claim him as their kin again like they hadn’t seemed to be since his confrontation with Feanaro so long ago now.

Strapping on the last piece, his sword Ringil, was strapped into place Nolofinwe heard the door open behind him. He ignored it and picked up his helmet as well as his shield and only looked when he heard a gasp. Seeing that it was Aracano he felt a slight ache but simply nodded at his son once before walking past him out of the room intent on not causing a scene if possible.

Upon seeing Findecano standing by the door leading outside his hopes of leaving in peace was gone. With an inaudible sigh he walked past his eldest son and entered the courtyard.

“Ready Rochallor.” He instructed one of the stable hands slipping his shield across his back for the moment.

“Father, please tell me you are not going to do what I think you are.” Findecano requested walking closer to him.

Nolofinwe turned and gave both his sons, Aracano had apparently followed him out, a strained smile. Reaching out he gently clasped a hand on each of their shoulders.

“My brave sons…“ He abruptly pulled them both into a tight hug. After kissing each of their foreheads he said, “I’m sorry but I need you both to stay here.”

The stable hand returned with Rochallor then, Nolofinwe could hear his friend pawing the ground impatient to be off. Then he signaled to the door guards to come closer. “Restrain them and do not allow anyone to follow me regardless of the cause.”

Turning he mounted swiftly putting his helm on his head and pulling his shield from his back he turned to the gates and then gave the signal that had Rochallor speeding off. Glancing back he felt a small twinge of regret seeing the agony on the faces of both his sons yet more than that he felt determined to do what he could in an attempt to stop Morgoth even if it did cost his life in the end.


	2. Shadows Deepen

Feanaro and Nolofinwe were sitting in the library playing a game of chess while talking, peacefully for a change though that was mostly due to the lack of anyone else there, when the door opened a little. Glancing at it Nolofinwe frowned and stood.

“Ara?” He asked spotting his little brother standing there looking upset.

“Nolo!” Arafinwe cried running to him. As he crashed into Nolofinwe’s legs Arafinwe wrapped his arms around them.

Nolofinwe gave a slight yelp and leaned forwards to gently rest his hand on top of Arafinwe’s head. Feanaro frowned and started to stand but Nolofinwe gave a small gesture for him to stay put with a sharp look he settled back at the table and made his next move.

“What happened Ara?” He asked gently, running his fingers through his brother’s hair. 

Arafinwe looked up at him tearfully and released his legs still clearly wanting to hold onto him. With a small smile Nolofinwe picked him up, and immediately Arafinwe wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. Nolofinwe sat back down at the table still keeping a hold on Arafinwe murmuring softly to him trying to help calm him down.

Arafinwe cried against his shoulder clinging to him like a limpet while Nolofinwe rocked him carefully continuing murmuring soothingly. Feanaro walked around the table and gently rubbed Arafinwe’s back while Nolofinwe ran his fingers through his little brother’s hair. At last Arafinwe calmed enough he was only hiccuping softly and still clinging to his brother.

“Nightmare?” Nolofinwe asked softly having recognized the signs, this was hardly the first time Arafinwe had come running to him because of these dreams.

Arafinwe nodded burying his face in Nolofinwe’s robes. Nolofinwe sighed softly knowing it was not his little brother’s fault that he had these ‘nightmares’ and tipped his king over on the chessboard before standing. Feanaro frowned and stood the king back up giving him a look before opening the door wider.

Nolofinwe laughed under his breath and nodded at Feanaro leaving the library. The door closed behind them and Feanaro joined him after a few steps towards Arafinwe’s bedroom. Nolofinwe gave him a questioning look but Feanaro shook his head.

“Not like I’ve got anything better to do.” Feanaro said a little defensively.

Nolofinwe just nodded resting his cheek gently against the top of Arafinwe’s head. 

“So little cloud,” Nolofinwe started, using their father’s nickname for Arafinwe, “what dream has you chasing me so late at night?”

“Fire and darkness. You were standing there in the middle of it all, you and Naro both. Lots of people were really angry and yelling.” Arafinwe replied, his hands curling even more tightly into Nolofinwe’s robes.

Nolofinwe gently massaged the back of Arafinwe’s neck hoping that it would help his little brother go back to sleep a little easier.

Entering his bedroom Nolofinwe set Arafinwe on his bed then went and retrieved a candle which Feanaro took away from him to light. Trusting his older brother Nolofinwe sat next to Arafinwe and let his little brother curl up in his lap.

“I’m okay Ara. See?” He asked as the candlelight illuminated the bed. Arafinwe looked at him uncertainly so he smiled warmly. “I’m right here, and so is Naro. We’re both here and no one is angry or yelling.”

Feanaro sat on the opposite side of the bed from the door then laid down. “Come here Arvo. Let’s lay down for a little while, I know I’m tired and Nolo looks tired too so maybe we can all lay here for a bit and rest.”

Arafinwe nodded and crawled across the bed to lie next to Feanaro. Once he was laying comfortably Nolofinwe smiled and brushed a few strands of his hair out of his face before kissing his forehead.

“Comfy?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, do you want me to leave the candle lit?”

“No you can put it out. Just will you stay?”

“Of course. I just want to take off my shoes, like Naro did, so that I’ll be more comfortable.“ Nolofinwe replied with a small smile.

He stood and took off his robe then blew out the candle before sitting on the bed again and removing his shoes. Once that was all done he moved closer to his brothers and wrapped an arm around Arafinwe. Arafinwe was snuggled up to Feanaro, using his arm as a pillow and facing Nolofinwe.

So was the scene the next morning when Findis came in to wake them up.


	3. We All Fall Down

‘ _Father is dead._ ’

A glass shatters as it collides with stone. The shards hit the ground with a soft clinking and a book hits the wall next. No one enters the room though, the sounds being common enough that no one dared to disturb him as he thought over and over again and again of the last time he’d seen and truly spoken to either his own father or his half-brother.

‘ _This is your fault!_ ’

His second son’s words of accusation rang true in his mind, as truly as his nephew’s words of his brother’s death. Perhaps he should have turned back, following Arafinwe as he’d thought about. Only no, he could not have followed his little brother no matter how much he may have wished to do so because he’d already bound himself by his own words to follow their older half-brother. Yet the stricken expression on Turucano’s face as he held his shaking and terrified daughter clung hauntingly to his mind.

‘ _I am not staying here father. Turucano and Idril need me._ ’

Another glass was sent flying into the wall because it was closer at hand than anything else except the teapot and that was not going flying. His daughter’s determined gaze seemed to hover in front of his eyes as he remembered the last time he saw her before he got that letter from his son. His arms ached to hold them close again, both of them, and yet reality said he would not get to do so again until he fell or until they reunited in Aman.

‘ _Please tell me my children will be under your protection.’_

He’d lied, only at the time he believed it to be true. The relief in his brother’s eyes grieved him all the more when he realized that he wasn’t protecting them, not really. No they all relied upon the protection of those who had been shunned and exiled and that they had  turned away from without a second thought until it was too late.

_‘Accept the crown Uncle, you’re the only one they will listen to.’_

Another book was sent to join it’s partner at the base of the wall, sandwiching shards of glass between them breaking them down further. He souldn’t be the King, not at all. Everyone should be looking to his nephew for guidance just as they demanded he keep them safe from their enemy.  Burying his head in his hands his shoulders shook though not even he could tell if it was with sobs or with laughter.

_‘Neither of us wants to rule. So please take this burden from us.’_

_‘You’re going to rule whether you plan to or not.’_

_‘perhaps, but it will be easier if you’re the figurehead.’_

_‘As you wish. Just keep me in the loop okay?’_

_‘Of course. Thank you Nolofinwe.’_


	4. Feanaro is sick

Feanaro felt a blessedly cool hand pressing against his forehead and leaned into it. After a moment he seemed to realize what he was doing and jerked away to glare at whoever was touching him blearily. His mind was too foggy to make out who it was clearly even with the added help of them muttering something crude under their breath. An arm slipped under his shoulders pulling him close to them. The smell of mint and paper filtered through the haze and he nuzzled closer to them.

“Are you awake Naro?” The blessedly cool hand was against the back of his neck, slender fingers rubbing careful circles making him relax further.

As much as he wanted to reply words just wouldn’t come to him so he settled on a low groan. The person holding him chuckled softly and nodded.

“All right. You’re burning up right now so I am going to be trying to lower your temperature back to a more normal range then I’ll put you to bed.”

Feanaro sighed softly giving a low sound that could have meant anything. Apparently the one holding him took it for agreement and picked him up carrying him somewhere. Being set down he felt the other working at his clothes and limply allowed them to strip him before he was moved into something that felt too cold. He tried to grab whoever it was but they had moved away then they were back touching his cheeks and gently stroking his arms and shoulders with hands covered in the too cold wetness.

Whoever it was that had brought him here was talking again though it was difficult to make out their voice he found it soothing and relaxed a bit leaning towards them. They chuckled softly and ran a hand through his hair pressing cool yet warm lips to his forehead before resuming the gentle touches of the wet cold stuff, was he in water? Possibly if he was burning up water would be good for cooling him.

“Can you understand me now, Naro?”

He nodded becoming aware of something soft but solid under his cheek. Whatever it was shifted and he felt the arm around his shoulders, maybe he was leaning against someone’s shoulder, move and the hand attached to the arm shifted to settle on his shoulder.

“Good, I’m going to move you out of the bath and dry you off now. Then I’ll get you in bed.”

In accord with those words he is lifted from the water and set on something soft and warm. Something else soft and warm is run over his body gently collecting the water still clinging to him and then he feels something being run along his legs. After a moment and it settling around his hips he decides that whoever it is has given him some clothes to wear which is probably good, less for Nerdanel or someone else to worry about.

For a moment he wonders if the one caring for him is Nerdanel but swiftly decides it isn’t. Her hands are more calloused and are not as slender as the ones touching his face again.

“Your fever is down a little but I think that sleep will be best for you. So let’s get you to bed okay?”

Though he can’t quite coordinate his body enough to respond the way the other is treating him as though he can is comforting and though he has to be carried to the bed it doesn’t seem quite as humiliating this way.

He must have drifted off then because when he opens his eyes the light shining into the room is silvered and there is a chair moved to next to the bed. At a touch he finds it is cool and has been for a little while but the scent of mint and papers lingers in the air. Sitting up slowly he looks around and spots something through the door to the bathing chamber that doesn’t seem to belong.

Moving unsteadily he goes and retrieves it noting that the rich blue cloth is indeed out of place but on a whim he lifts it to his nose and inhales. Sure enough it had to have belonged to whoever cared for him. Holding it out he smiles making note to return it with something else as a thank you for the time that had been spent caring for him. Nolofinwe would likely understand the message and if not…. well he could always give him a thorough thank you in person.


End file.
